My worst client

I had this client when I was self-employed.

Greek guy. Unbelievably successful - revered, even - but also intense and dramatic.

But here’s the thing: I never did the work.

Sly and devilish, I’d get AI to do the work for me, whatever it was.

Eventually, I f*cked up and got caught. His anger was righteous, like a bolt of lightning.

But he was cunning too. The fury contained within the gathering clouds.

He invited me round for a drink and, safe in my intellectual superiority, I accepted.

Well bugger that for a laugh.

He led me to the basement, where his deranged brother lived.

Weird guy. Loved sticks.

Anyway the brother, he was a wild one.

He sat me down at his computer - ostensibly for help with a copy problem - and when I was distracted, cuffed me to the seat.

He said I could leave as soon as I’d finished writing the copy.

It was one landing page. So, freaked as I was, I knew it wouldn’t last long.

But these Greeks - they’re sly too.

I sent the first version. Reply: sharpen it up a bit

I sent the second version. Reply: can you add a little energy?

Next version was missing that wow factor.

Then spruce it up

It needs to tell more of a story.

It needs to be more on-brand.

It’s the wrong persona

Follow the brief

Get creative

More emotion

Less direct

…

It’s been a long, long time.

I realise now that it will never end.

That my punishment for my deviousness is an eternal, relentless mundanity. In this chair, inches from the summit and watching my boulder race to the bottom.

My name is Sisyphus. I’m a copywriter, and this is my story.